Friend: I need to book an open ticket from London to Edinburgh, leaving today.
East Coast Mainline Employee: OK, sir. Heading up for the Fringe are we?
Friend: No, my mother has just been hit by a car and killed.
ECME: ….
ECME: So, not really a holiday then?
Friend: No.
Thursday, 26 August 2010
Wednesday, 25 August 2010
Fnarrr
Further to my previous update, here comes another (you lucky, lucky bastards).
So my made-to-order iPad case hasn’t turned up yet. Which has annoyed me muchly. I mean, how long can it take to send a made-to-order iPad case from San Francisco to London? By standard post?
Oh, standard post?
[edit] I have checked with the US mail people, and they say it can take a while, and I shouldn’t worry too much just yet.
Either that or Royal Mail have lost it.
Anyway, no one other than me cares about my made-to-order iPad case, so this is all neither here nor there.
Erm.
I wish there was something exciting to tell you. But quite honestly, there isn’t. The Tranny Olympics (yes) didn’t even happen last weekend, so I can’t tell you about running around East London in a pair of heels. Because I wasn’t wearing them. I could make it up, I suppose.
Maybe that’s what all the interesting bloggers do?
So my made-to-order iPad case hasn’t turned up yet. Which has annoyed me muchly. I mean, how long can it take to send a made-to-order iPad case from San Francisco to London? By standard post?
Oh, standard post?
[edit] I have checked with the US mail people, and they say it can take a while, and I shouldn’t worry too much just yet.
Either that or Royal Mail have lost it.
Anyway, no one other than me cares about my made-to-order iPad case, so this is all neither here nor there.
Erm.
I wish there was something exciting to tell you. But quite honestly, there isn’t. The Tranny Olympics (yes) didn’t even happen last weekend, so I can’t tell you about running around East London in a pair of heels. Because I wasn’t wearing them. I could make it up, I suppose.
Maybe that’s what all the interesting bloggers do?
Friday, 6 August 2010
oh, hai
Shall we have yet another stab at this?
I haven’t written anything in quite a long period of time, other than the occasional Facebook status update, or rant email to a train company – and to be honest I kind of miss it. So here I am again, tapping away when really I ought to be working.
The guy who just last week was texting me to say he ‘missed me’, and who was telling his friends he had met ‘someone he really likes’ has decided to go deathly quiet on me, so that’s the update on my so-called love life. It’s ok though, I am used to being constantly disappointed by practically everyone I meet, so don’t feel too sorry for me.
In other news I am currently working as a contractor in a job I hate. And being a contractor in the Civil Service really isn’t the best place to be right now, you know – with the Conservative Party all hell-bent on ruining the country for everyone. I am more than likely going to be axed at some point uncomfortably soon. This is awesome news. I LOVE being unemployed. And losing my home. And being declared officially bankrupt. It really puts a cherry on my sundae.
On the plus side, the made-to-order iPad case from San Francisco which I ordered two months ago has finally shipped. So that will cheer me up for 20 minutes or so when it finally arrives in a couple of weeks.
How are you?
I haven’t written anything in quite a long period of time, other than the occasional Facebook status update, or rant email to a train company – and to be honest I kind of miss it. So here I am again, tapping away when really I ought to be working.
The guy who just last week was texting me to say he ‘missed me’, and who was telling his friends he had met ‘someone he really likes’ has decided to go deathly quiet on me, so that’s the update on my so-called love life. It’s ok though, I am used to being constantly disappointed by practically everyone I meet, so don’t feel too sorry for me.
In other news I am currently working as a contractor in a job I hate. And being a contractor in the Civil Service really isn’t the best place to be right now, you know – with the Conservative Party all hell-bent on ruining the country for everyone. I am more than likely going to be axed at some point uncomfortably soon. This is awesome news. I LOVE being unemployed. And losing my home. And being declared officially bankrupt. It really puts a cherry on my sundae.
On the plus side, the made-to-order iPad case from San Francisco which I ordered two months ago has finally shipped. So that will cheer me up for 20 minutes or so when it finally arrives in a couple of weeks.
How are you?
Saturday, 26 December 2009
so it has been a long time...
Nearly a year has passed. And what a year. 2009 has been, quite literally, the worst year of my life.
Nothing has gone according to plan. I was made redundant from my job shouting at Architects in April, and spent a good three months doing very little before being offered a temporary job being personal assistant to an interior designer, who happened to be the ex-wife of a member of a world-famous pop/indie group.
Anyway, not to bore you with specifics: but the job front hasn't been good, nor has the boy front. The tall actor has played a specific part on this side of affairs... getting over him has plagued much of my time. And as such, it has plagued any pledgeling relationships I may have had over the past twelve months.
In December of this year events took a turn for the better. I have started a new job, and I now work in the fashion industry. I know, get me. And everything. I am still settling into it, and it is still all very new and scary, but - well - I am getting there. So 2009 hasn't been a complete waste of time. Which is a saving grace. But I am still without that special someone, which isn't fun. He needs to be here. Where is he?
Nothing has gone according to plan. I was made redundant from my job shouting at Architects in April, and spent a good three months doing very little before being offered a temporary job being personal assistant to an interior designer, who happened to be the ex-wife of a member of a world-famous pop/indie group.
Anyway, not to bore you with specifics: but the job front hasn't been good, nor has the boy front. The tall actor has played a specific part on this side of affairs... getting over him has plagued much of my time. And as such, it has plagued any pledgeling relationships I may have had over the past twelve months.
In December of this year events took a turn for the better. I have started a new job, and I now work in the fashion industry. I know, get me. And everything. I am still settling into it, and it is still all very new and scary, but - well - I am getting there. So 2009 hasn't been a complete waste of time. Which is a saving grace. But I am still without that special someone, which isn't fun. He needs to be here. Where is he?
Tuesday, 6 January 2009
My perfect end to 2008 was crushed at 2:30pm on Wednesday the 31st of December when the tall actor decided that he really didn’t see any future with me, and ended things unceremoniously in his kitchen.
It was not unlike having a football boot hurl full swing at my stomach, and quite literally knocked the wind out of me.
In my little world everything was going perfectly. I was so incredibly, unbelievably happy. The happiest anyone has made me for longer than I can remember. I had just spent the most wonderful Christmas with the most wonderful man, and I was looking forward to bringing in the New Year with this person who had made the prospect of 2009 really terribly exciting.
So when he turned around and wiped all that off the chalkboard I was left a broken man. I am still somewhat a broken man. I guess I had finally let my guard down properly after we had the ‘boyfriend’ conversation. Now I realise it was partially this conversation which may have been the start of the end.
I miss him. I miss resting my head on his chest as he held me in his arms. I miss his smell. His smile.
I suppose letting my guard down was the worst thing I could have done. And in fairness, after dating for only two months it was probably not the right time for me to have opened my heart to him. But I did, I can’t turn back time, the overwhelming feeling of this man being ‘different’ than the others was, as it appears, not to be trusted.
I wish things could have been different.
I wish he was still mine.
And it ruined the New Year.
It was not unlike having a football boot hurl full swing at my stomach, and quite literally knocked the wind out of me.
In my little world everything was going perfectly. I was so incredibly, unbelievably happy. The happiest anyone has made me for longer than I can remember. I had just spent the most wonderful Christmas with the most wonderful man, and I was looking forward to bringing in the New Year with this person who had made the prospect of 2009 really terribly exciting.
So when he turned around and wiped all that off the chalkboard I was left a broken man. I am still somewhat a broken man. I guess I had finally let my guard down properly after we had the ‘boyfriend’ conversation. Now I realise it was partially this conversation which may have been the start of the end.
I miss him. I miss resting my head on his chest as he held me in his arms. I miss his smell. His smile.
I suppose letting my guard down was the worst thing I could have done. And in fairness, after dating for only two months it was probably not the right time for me to have opened my heart to him. But I did, I can’t turn back time, the overwhelming feeling of this man being ‘different’ than the others was, as it appears, not to be trusted.
I wish things could have been different.
I wish he was still mine.
And it ruined the New Year.
Tuesday, 30 December 2008
So it would appear that the tall actor and I are now officially ‘boyfriends’.
Oh, merry Christmas everyone!
Yes, sorry for the tumbleweeds, I will brush them away. Shoo, shoo… bad tumbleweeds.
There. Better.
So, yes. The weekend before Christmas the best friend/ex-flatmate S (who has now moved into a rather lovely flat in Covent Garden with his boyfriend) invited some of us gays (and his mother) for Christmas dinner at his new place. This was on the Sunday before Christmas, and a lovely time was had by all. Yes, I got horribly drunk, and at some point in the early hours decided it would be a great time to slur into the tall actors ear that I wanted to be his boyfriend.
He seemed taken aback by this, but only as he had assumed we were at that point already, and had been for a while.
Whoops.
So, yes, I officially had a new boyfriend for Christmas. Which is nice. Very nice. Everyone seems to like him, some people a little too much, which is very affirming for someone like me – but also petrifying, because I am scared that at any moment he will realise that I am not as breathtakingly beautiful as he is and will leave me for a Calvin Klein model. Or something.
I hope he doesn’t.
Christmas day was spent at the other best friend (and now future flatmate) D’s place. There were four of us, which became 6 later in the evening. We had dresses and high heels. And we were fabulous. And fierce. And I now want to go to Trannyshack. And this is worrying me a little.
I don’t want to become a bad transvestite. I do NOT make a very convincing woman. Although I do have a very symmetrical face. Oh, and good pins. But other than that, the broad shoulders and big hands are a dead giveaway that all is not what it seems when wearing a pretty dress with a big bow and lipstick.
Still, Christmas was fun. And it is now the 30th of December and the hangover has almost completely disappeared.
So tell me, how was your Christmas?
Oh, merry Christmas everyone!
Yes, sorry for the tumbleweeds, I will brush them away. Shoo, shoo… bad tumbleweeds.
There. Better.
So, yes. The weekend before Christmas the best friend/ex-flatmate S (who has now moved into a rather lovely flat in Covent Garden with his boyfriend) invited some of us gays (and his mother) for Christmas dinner at his new place. This was on the Sunday before Christmas, and a lovely time was had by all. Yes, I got horribly drunk, and at some point in the early hours decided it would be a great time to slur into the tall actors ear that I wanted to be his boyfriend.
He seemed taken aback by this, but only as he had assumed we were at that point already, and had been for a while.
Whoops.
So, yes, I officially had a new boyfriend for Christmas. Which is nice. Very nice. Everyone seems to like him, some people a little too much, which is very affirming for someone like me – but also petrifying, because I am scared that at any moment he will realise that I am not as breathtakingly beautiful as he is and will leave me for a Calvin Klein model. Or something.
I hope he doesn’t.
Christmas day was spent at the other best friend (and now future flatmate) D’s place. There were four of us, which became 6 later in the evening. We had dresses and high heels. And we were fabulous. And fierce. And I now want to go to Trannyshack. And this is worrying me a little.
I don’t want to become a bad transvestite. I do NOT make a very convincing woman. Although I do have a very symmetrical face. Oh, and good pins. But other than that, the broad shoulders and big hands are a dead giveaway that all is not what it seems when wearing a pretty dress with a big bow and lipstick.
Still, Christmas was fun. And it is now the 30th of December and the hangover has almost completely disappeared.
So tell me, how was your Christmas?
Thursday, 4 December 2008
So I am having a rubbish week at work. Well, to be frank, most of my weeks at work are rubbish, but this one especially so. Bloody rubbish. Really bloody rubbish.
I won’t bore you with the specifics, it really isn’t worth it.
And I am also really bloody tired. I think I need some time off. I have not had the motivation to go to the gym since Sunday, I nearly went last night, but chickened out at the bus stop and bought a packet of Marlboro Lights instead. Bad move. Very bad move.
I have not bought a packet of cigarettes in weeks. This cannot be a good sign.
The tall actor is making up for my bad general bad mood by offering small periods of joy, but this is in itself proving to be a problem: I think I have properly fallen for him (lets not get ahead of ourselves here – I am talking about infatuation, not love), and at this point I do not know for certain what his feelings are for me. When we are together this is fine, I am just happy for him to be there – but when we are apart, which is most of the time, my already downtrodden mind starts churning things around. A text goes un-replied to for more than 15 minutes clearly means he is not at all interested and never wants to see me again.
I have to run to the disabled toilets for a quick game of solitaire on the iPhone to calm myself down.
And then I go back to the desk and get back to waiting for his response. Eventually it will arrive and I will be happy again, for another 15 minutes.
This is a problem I have at the beginning stages of most of the relationships I have ever been in. And is probably the main reason I am still single. I am way, way too needy. It manifests itself in a need for constant reassurance that I am wanted, that I am needed, that I am attractive and that I am better than all of the other options.
Yes, yes, I am quite insane.
Anyway, I am at this exact moment in time during one of these ‘waiting for a reply’ periods. I small flurry of text messages an hour or so ago culminated in me asking the tall actor out on a date tomorrow evening. Then the texts stop. My question is hanging in the air. And the first thing my head settles on is not “oh, he must be busy – he will reply when he has a chance,” no, it is instead “oh, he obviously doesn’t want to see me ever again and must wish I was dead/in France”.
I am going to go the gym after work and take it all out on my abs.
I won’t bore you with the specifics, it really isn’t worth it.
And I am also really bloody tired. I think I need some time off. I have not had the motivation to go to the gym since Sunday, I nearly went last night, but chickened out at the bus stop and bought a packet of Marlboro Lights instead. Bad move. Very bad move.
I have not bought a packet of cigarettes in weeks. This cannot be a good sign.
The tall actor is making up for my bad general bad mood by offering small periods of joy, but this is in itself proving to be a problem: I think I have properly fallen for him (lets not get ahead of ourselves here – I am talking about infatuation, not love), and at this point I do not know for certain what his feelings are for me. When we are together this is fine, I am just happy for him to be there – but when we are apart, which is most of the time, my already downtrodden mind starts churning things around. A text goes un-replied to for more than 15 minutes clearly means he is not at all interested and never wants to see me again.
I have to run to the disabled toilets for a quick game of solitaire on the iPhone to calm myself down.
And then I go back to the desk and get back to waiting for his response. Eventually it will arrive and I will be happy again, for another 15 minutes.
This is a problem I have at the beginning stages of most of the relationships I have ever been in. And is probably the main reason I am still single. I am way, way too needy. It manifests itself in a need for constant reassurance that I am wanted, that I am needed, that I am attractive and that I am better than all of the other options.
Yes, yes, I am quite insane.
Anyway, I am at this exact moment in time during one of these ‘waiting for a reply’ periods. I small flurry of text messages an hour or so ago culminated in me asking the tall actor out on a date tomorrow evening. Then the texts stop. My question is hanging in the air. And the first thing my head settles on is not “oh, he must be busy – he will reply when he has a chance,” no, it is instead “oh, he obviously doesn’t want to see me ever again and must wish I was dead/in France”.
I am going to go the gym after work and take it all out on my abs.
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